Read this page on how to write a horror story (Parts Two to Four). Write a strong beginning, comprising of three sentences minimum, in the comments section. Include your name at the end.
Click on this link to extend your vocabulary for horror writing.
He is hungry. He sucks the bones meticulously. He wants more, he craves the taste. Unfortunately, the pantry is empty. He has to go hunting. He is leaving his small cottage of rotten wood, while thinking in the succulent flavour of human flesh.
ReplyDeleteMaria.
A good try. You use short sentences effectively. You could have made it better by making a few changes:
Delete"He wants - craves - more. [the next line is redundant] He opens the door of the cottage, discarding rotting wood on the blood-stained floor as he leaves to hunt, the succulent flavour of human flesh foremost on his mind.
I like your creepy ending :)
The clock struck 12 when an extra dong went off. A small innocent girl slept silently in a room above the cellar on her mysteriously soft ghost like bed while around her stood tall, dark suspicious shadows dawning over her. The wind slowly crept into her room through the chimney into the stone cold fireplace which still seemed to exist in the crooked house. As she twist and turned from left to right and back again the clouds outside darkened and the shadows grew more presence. Something was changing or rather worsening.
ReplyDeleteUrmee Mistry
A good try. However, you have some contradictions and lots of long sentences. Remember, if a word is there with no other purpose than to make the sentence look smarter, it's not needed. When building suspense, use short/shorter sentences.
DeleteNOW: Re-write your paragraph with a mixture of simple and compound sentences.
Boom! a loud bang from the hallway, Jason jumped under his blanket, scared, shivering, wondering if it was a ghost or someone that had broken into his house. Creek, Creek, the noise got closer and closer, Jason's heart race increasing. The noise stopped, Jason took a deep breath, his door creaked open, Jason's palms grew sweaty with nervousness, the footsteps got closer and closer and then, whoosh, Jason's blanket was pulled away to reveal... his mother, Jason gasped and then sighed with relief, he said, 'I thought you were a ghost or a robber!'.
ReplyDeleteA good try.
DeleteNOW: Check spelling and punctuation. Rewrite this piece, using short sentences to make it more effective. (Hint, if palms are sweaty, it automatically means one is nervous, ergo you don't have to state it). Ending - either a ghost or a robber, not both.
the door was ferociously kicked down by Julie she runs into the room,
ReplyDelete"nana", she cries, but she was too late her grandmother was dead laying on the floor dead cold and on the wall was a face with a smile drawn on with the blood of nana Julie fell on the floor from shock she had tears running down her face her chest was beating so fast she thought her heart was going to explode she ran out the room she did not want to get her child hurt (shes pregnant). all of a sudden the a door ahead of her swung open and she was stabbed in her stomach. she slowly turned her head towards the person who stabbed her it was a black figure with the same face that was on the wall, the unborn premature baby fell out her stomach crying, Julie fell to the floor coughing blood while she watched the black figure pick up her baby and watch them both go into the distance and disappear, she lets out one last scream but it did not do much and Julie took her last breath.
I am not going to finish reading this piece until you have punctuated it. Learn how to use full stops!
DeleteNOW: Rewrite as a reply.
He tucked into his bed and started screaming. His mom ran towards his room. She saw him petrified and shivering. She anxiously asked him "what happened?". He pointed towards his bed. Then she looked underneath, she was shocked! She saw a monster under the bed, staring back at her whispering,"i will kill you".
ReplyDeleteNavpreet kaur
A good try but I don't feel scared reading this. You need to build up suspense and evoke emotion using effective punctuation and short sentences. Eg.
DeleteAAAAHHH! Mum came running in to the room to see Josh upright and screaming. "What happened?" she asked, panic making her breathless. Josh wordlessly pointed towards the floor, beneath his bed. In a bid to assure him that nothing was there, she strode and bent, only to keel back in horror. Red eyes peered out from the shadows and a pungent smell permeated the air. "I will kill you."
NOW: Write another piece, using effective punctuation (including for speech) and a range of sentences.
"She heard her mom yell her name from downstairs,so she got up and started to head down.As she got to the stairs, her mom pulled her into her room and said" SSSHHH... I HEARD THAT TOO"......
DeleteDark clouds scudded across the moon as a small girl hurried anxiously along the path. Her footsteps seemed to echo in the shadows. Suddenly, she stopped and listened to the sound across the road which sounded like the scream of a woman being attacked. She looked pale like a sheet of paper blood drained down her body…she was sweating, panicking, leaving her breathless. Her eyes were full with tears. A drop of liquid fell down her feet she jumped was being chased by a wild tiger. As she took a step she felt like someone was following her. She turned around and noticed no one was behind her. Adel
ReplyDeleteMommy told me never to go in the basement, but I wanted to see what was making that noise. It kind of sounded like a puppy, and I wanted to see the puppy, so I opened the basement door and tiptoed down a bit. I didn’t see a puppy, and then Mommy yanked me out of the basement and yelled at me. Mommy had never yelled at me before, and it made me sad and I cried. Then Mommy told me never to go into the basement again, and she gave me a cookie. That made me feel better, so I didn’t ask her why the boy in the basement was making noises like a puppy, or why he had no hands or feet. Husein Tatia
ReplyDeleteI woke up at 3 am.,I heard the sound of an ice cream truck. I was hallucinating because it was just my 4 year old daughter slamming the window down. Then I watched as she went down the stairs and went outside. I followed her after I got dressed.
ReplyDeleteIt was a cold winter evening, in the middle of parks avenue. The streets were empty and lifeless. Pieces of litter were being moved around by the wind. However this was no ordinary evening, it was Friday the 13th.
ReplyDeleteIt was 3 o'clock and timothy was in bed fast asleep. There was a scream from the front of his house which woke timothy. H slowly approached the door with precaution. He opened the door and found a rotten corpse laying on the floor. He slammed the door shut in a panic. He turned and made a run for his room. He hid under the bed whilst calling from help. He only got to 99 before being dragged out from beneath his bed."AAAAAHH" he screamed as he was gutted alive.
ReplyDeleteJameel Mohamed
My friend was shaking me quietly. I looked around the cabin. The Boys must have gone to bed. The fire had burned down to embers. My glass of scotch was still in my hand. “Something is tapping on the porch.” Then I heard it too. I grabbed my ax and lit the lantern. I opened the door expecting a raccoon or a skunk, but instead found a boy of about 10 years old.
ReplyDeleteHe stared at me petrified for a moment, then bolted down the path through the woods. I gave chase. He was losing me but I heard him tumble to the ground. I leapt on top of him in a rage.
“Why were you knocking on my doorway?” I screamed. “My friends told me to.” He stammered.
I was no longer angry, but confused. “But why?” I asked. “To get you out of the cabin.” …
Ajay Solanki
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ReplyDeletein a dark depressing morning she went for a jog in the forest. where whilst jogging she noticed a strange bright green glowing hat, she slowly approached and went to pick it up, then...! she heard a little girl cry behind her, with tension the slowly turned and screamed... help!!!
ReplyDeleteSitara Jethwa
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ReplyDeleteAs The boy passed the mysterious house shrouded in shadows; a familiar voice had called out to him from inside,"Help brother".The boy sprinted to the house knocking the door aside with great force. frightened he began to shout her name, until a sinister voice had whispered "am right here".
ReplyDeleteit was 5am and I hear a knock on a door wondering who it would be as I open the door I could see a gloomy terrifying person coming towards me I feel petrified and frightened my heart started to beat fast..
ReplyDelete'He said I'm a Freak.' Before all this I was called Liam Jefferson, I was a news reporter, I had a wife named Emily and a daughter named Mary. I was happy with my life. However, I decided to throw it all away when I took the 'Joyful Asylum' job that would change my life forever. I went to take on a job that nobody returned from. I wanted to do it so that I could earn more money for my family. But I was greedy, and I threw everything- even my body away so that I could earn a little more money. Now, I will continue regretting that decision for the rest of my life.
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ReplyDeleteIt was 11pm on a gloomy Thursday night where I can hear a scream of a girl, I looked out the window but did not see anything so I went outside and the all the street lights went and at that point I can see something horrifying coming towards me...
ReplyDeleteEverything was quiet, a spirit appeared I was wondering what it was then 'BOOM' I turned around, my heart started pounding I ran as fast as I can. As I ran more spirits appeared I thought I was going to die the only thing that was going through my head was what have I done that they are after me. I will always remember this I shall never forget.
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ReplyDeleteAs Kyle lay there, paralyzed from the neck down, the mysterious masked man dressed in black started to rummage around in a wooden crate. Kyle knew it was only a matter of time before his headless body would be hanging in the hallway along with the others. The mysterious man started to remove his mask, crying out in horror as the mask tore from his face, his flesh ripping as blood poured onto the floor.
ReplyDeleteRajan
As I opened the door of the creepy old haunted house, I began to think that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I scolded myself for wanting to turn back, and hesitantly stepped inside to explore. My brown hair and dark brown eyes made me practically camouflage in the wood-panelled foyer, except for my old grey hooded sweatshirt and comfortable red sweat pants, I heard a creek and swiftly turned to my right to see blood splattered across the wall, I let out a shriek and grabbed the freezing cold handle, but it wouldn’t budge. I was stuck!!
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ReplyDeleteShe felt a shiver on her back. A sudden bang made her jump 1 inch higher than her real height. Thoughts zoomed through her mind as she picked up the courage to turn around in slow motion. Her trapped breath gets relieved as she discovered it was merely the ice dispenser. But then, another, more louder bang came from behind. And this time it was not the ice dispenser....
ReplyDeleteDavina
As I opened the door of the dark, smelly haunted house, my heart was pounding so loud I could hear it echoing in the creepy house. My legs shaking like jelly and my breathing is so fast, that I am thinking that I may collapse any moment.
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ReplyDeleteShe tucked him into bed, switched off the light and closed the door shut, He heard the clock hands tick and sat in silence until he waited and heard the growl, a deep inner screech of terror his eyes shut tight hoping nothing would happen tonight.hoping that this night would be different.
ReplyDeleteLifting the covers hoping to get out he lifted his head from his pillow, as the claws grasped onto his head and forced him to stay. The tears from his eyes bled out until his eyes were sore with pain and a loud cry screeched out his lungs. He'd wished he'd never let her put him to bed, never let himself get close to her he knew this is what he'd have to go through to be with her, his chest beat a thousand times more until he began to feel weak within and unable to feel a thing he shut his eyes and thought from his heart within he told himself it was worth the pain..and worth the suffering...it was worth it....for her
it was 6 pm when i heard my mum calling me downstairs, i opened my room door as a chilling breeze traveled down my back only to hear something behind me say "dont go downstairs i heard it too" i looked at the reflection in the mirror as the black shadow pushed her excessively long rotting nails through my chest. breathing heavily i woke up sitting on the edge of my bed relived that it was only a dream. The time was 5:59 when i heard my mum calling me downstairs seconds later the door in my room slowly creaked open.....
ReplyDeleteAftaab